Is Cannibalism the Cure for Starvation and Overpopulation?
Opinion
By Darron Collettemen
In today’s world overpopulation and starvation are two of the greatest problems we face. Starvation occurs mostly in poor third world counties. In larger more mainstream counties like China, the problem is there are too many people. In some cases this can lead to starvation, even in a modern environment food can run out.
But I think the solution is clear. We need to start eating people. The question is who should we eat? The elderly seem to be likely candidates, but let’s not forget the suicidal, death row inmates, and the comatose. Who would miss them? No one. So, I think they should enter the food chain.
Some may find this idea disgusting and inhumane, but it would really help balance out global starvation and overpopulation. We could simply take selected people from first world countries, deep fry them and feed them to the hungry in famished regions of the world.
While researching this subject I found many past incidents of cannibalism which were used mostly for rituals centuries ago. There is a small sect in India that has been known to eat the recently deceased and they still exist in small numbers. Besides all that, I read about a man who in the 1970’s had an idea to farm humans. He is now pretty old, but I tracked him down to get his take on this matter.
“What I wanted to do is let people hunt each other here on my farm,” says Dale Tillmen. “After they nab a target I would have cleaned and gutted ‘em. We only were opened two days before the police shut us down and then I went to prison.”
Tillmen spent eight years in prison after being convicted of attempted murder for his role in the only known “human farm.” That was then and now I think it is time we consider similar options once again. However, we could offer money to people to become targets, running in the woods for a set amount of time. That would likely be better than capturing local hippies, like Tillmen did.
One idea is to offer people something great in return for their “donation” of themselves or even a limb or two. Say a week in a world class resort in exchange for a leg. Maybe a month, if they donate their entire body. After that month they could decide their own demise by say… being thrown off Mt. Everest, drowned in the 2008 Beijing Olympic swimming pool, or hung from the space-needle in Seattle. It would be like a last meal request – just you end up becoming the meal.
A downside to eating people is that it could lead to disease as it did when cows were fed parts of other cows resulting in Mad Cow Disease. To avoid that, animals could be fed poor or D/F grade people meat.
One country that has expressed an interest is Venezuela. “I think it is a good idea to eat people,” said Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez. “I want to eat a Columbian’s brain so I can find out what a moron tastes like, then I would eat an American’s balls so I know what a coward tastes like!” Chávez may have been drunk during the interview, we don’t know.
Naturally some celebrities have supported the cause. Jay Leno willed over his chin, Will Smith donated his ears, and Jennifer Lopez is donating her butt. Also, some people have left body parts to family members to be eaten in remembrance, with special recipes in most cases.
This idea is a long way from becoming reality due to the amount of laws that would need to be drastically changed. I think by 2287 we could see this happen in some countries, so don’t go eating anyone’s heart out… yet.
