Meet our mascot, Bakey!
Feature
By Darron Collettemen
You may not notice this emaciated little bloodhound running around the FIU campus and sniffing everything he happens comes across. What he is known for is a very rare ability. Bakey is able to speak with humans.
Very few people have spoken to Bakey and this is simply because he does not like to talk. He gained the status of Bacon Newspaper mascot because he is a big fan. In fact he’s known for screaming “It’s Beacon!” We try and remind him that we are not in any way tied to that ‘other’ campus newspaper.
Bakey is only 27 in dog years, but due to some bad choices he has made in his life he looks like he’s in his late 60’s. This unfortunately due to that fact that Bakey is addicted at least 15 drugs that we known of and can confirm.
Of all his addictions Bakey’s most notable would be his addiction to crack cocaine. That’s why poor old Bakey has that pesky sniffing habit. When asked about his problems Barky has been known to become agitated, angry and likely to urinate on anyone near by.
Barky became famous on campus after an incident in May of 2007 when a group of seven concerned students tried to stop Bakey from trying to win a bet. A very mean person dared Barky to do a ‘Candy Striper’. For those of you that have never heard of this it’s when someone takes ecstasy, acid, is spun around 10 times, held still, has a hand waved in front of their face 20 times and attempts to cross a busy road.
The students were not able to find Bakey until he had run onto 8th street and was grazed by two cars. This led to the FIU students running into the street in a frantic (and foolish) attempt to halt traffic. After a good five minutes of car accidents the carnage finally came to an end. In all 4 students were hit by cars, 3 of them needed some medical attention. 28 cars were damaged, 6 were totaled.
As for Bakey he was glanced a total of 5 times, ran over once, earned $34.73, a bottle of Tylenol and 4 and a half vicodin pills. His tail was also run over approximately 300 times as he collected his winnings on the side of the road. This leads of to believe Bakey has no feeling in his tale…
